I'm in that mood again.
A few months ago, I stopped tracking and tried to just eat what I thought I should eat, and I gained weight. I decided to start tracking every bite of food that goes in my mouth again, and I've been doing that steadily for over two months now.
Today, I was watching the grandkids, and I was hit by this feeling of hunger coupled with depression that I could not eat anything except the food that was on my Fitday for the day. I knew that, after lunch, I could not eat anything until I had my measly 4 ounces of roasted chicken thigh and serving of roasted zucchini.
The idea that I cannot just eat low carb food when I am hungry has me really frustrated today. I was so frustrated that I threw out my Fitday for the rest of the day and ate about an ounce of pecans and a quarter of an ounce of cheese. Now that my measly dinner is over, I want more food. I am still hungry. It's not just "wanting to eat" - it is real hunger. I know the difference.
The problem is that I am a small person with a big appetite. Even eating low carb, I can't eat a lot without gaining weight, and I want to eat a lot.
I'm not sure how I'll feel in the morning, but right now I want to stop tracking. I just want to be a human being and eat food when I am hungry.
Is that too much to ask? I've been doing this now for almost 21 months, and you would think that my body would give me just a little cooperation...
I know I have low thyroid, and that may be why I have to eat so little, but still...