Thursday, July 3, 2014

MEMORIES OF EMILY'S PASSING - IT'S BEEN 17 YEARS

 Emily at age 17 in 1996              Rebecca at age 23 in 1981

Friday, June 27, 1997 - I spent most of the day that day with my 18-year-old daughter, Emily. I had just bought a little rental house, and I showed it to her, and she was begging me to let her rent it from me and move away from home. We looked at other houses that day, too, and Emily was helping me pick out the next investment.

That evening, we rented and watched the movie Jerry Maguire and I made her cover her eyes while I fast forwarded through the sex scene at the beginning of the movie.



Sunday, June 29 - After church, Emily was up on the roof, cleaned out the gutters, which she volunteered to do. At one point, she was laying down on the roof with her head hanging over the edge, and I told her to stop fooling around before she fell off the roof and broke her neck.







Monday, June 30 - The four of us (Bill, me, 20-year-old son Barry and Emily) made plans to see My Best Friend's Wedding on Thursday. It was the last time that the four of us would sit in a room and talk. It was the last time we were a normal family. It was the last time I saw my daughter conscious.






Tuesday, July 1 - I left for work before Emily got out of bed that day. After working a while, I ran an errand, and when I got back to the office, I saw that Emily had left me a voice mail. "Hi, Mom - it's Emily. I just wanted to let you know that it's 2:00 and I'm leaving for work. I'll see you later. I love you. Bye!"

I listened to the message with my finger perched over the "delete" button on the phone. I started to push it, then I hesitated. I thought, "What if Emily gets killed in a car accident tonight, and this is the last time I will hear her voice? I'll be sorry later that I deleted it." I realized that it was just a morbid thought, and deleted the message.

I had been having thoughts like that for about 18 months. Every time she would leave the house, I would grab her and hug her and say, "I love you! I would die for you!" I always wanted it to be the last thing I said to her, just in case she died in a car accident. I did not treat my other family members this way - just Emily.

When she left to go to work that day, she never came home again.

Wednesday, July 2 - If we had not had the window air conditioner running, we would have been awakened by the sirens at 1:00 am. About a mile from our house, Emily, alone in her compact car and on her way home, swerved to miss a deer and lost control of the car. Her car went into a yaw, and spun into a telephone pole on the passenger's front door. The car wrapped around the pole and the pole struck her head.

We got the call at 2:15 am. We rushed to the hospital to find our daughter in a deep coma. She had brain surgery that day, but it was no use. She never woke up, and around 6:00 pm, the doctor told us that Emily had experienced brain death. We went to sleep at my father's house, because all the beds at my house, including mine, were occupied by family members from out of town who had rushed in to be with us.

Thursday, July 3 - Around 4:00 am, after not sleeping, I told my husband that we were going back to the hospital. We spent all day there, waiting for all the arrangements to be made for the four men who would receive Emily's vital organs. Between Wednesday and Thursday, there were at least 100 family members and friends in and out and just hanging around. At noon, the hospital told everyone to leave so that they could prepare Emily for surgery. Bill and Barry and I stayed.

Later that afternoon, we invited Emily's fiance to return and he came back for an hour or so.

In the evening, I held Emily in my arms one last time and told her about the surgery. I was so afraid that there was a chance that she was still "in there" but couldn't communicate with us and that she was terrified. All I could do was tell her not to be afraid and that she was going to go to heaven and be with God, and that it was going to be all right.

Finally, around 11:30 pm, we said goodbye and went home.



Friday, July 4 - I did not sleep. I stayed awake and called the hospital several times throughout those hours to see how the surgery was going. A wonderful nurse told me details and let me know when Emily's heart stopped beating. They removed her from life support just before dawn on the 4th of July, 1997.






Tuesday, July 1, 2014

COUNTRY JOE KNOWS HOW I FEEL

Is anyone else out there so old that they also remember the song "Here I Go Again" by Country Joe and the Fish from back in 1969?

As I started to think about this blog post, that song popped into my head.  "Here I go again, off down the road again..."

The last time I really posted about what I was eating and how I was doing with my blood sugar and weight was in October 2013, so almost seven months ago.  Every now and then, I just get sick of the whole thing, all the tracking and reporting, and decide to just try to eat like a normal person.  This never works, and I am not sure why I think it will each time I try it for a few to several months.

This last "escape" was no different and I have gained back some weight and have seen my blood sugar get higher and higher.  So with regret and dread, here I go again.  A few weeks ago, I decided to start tracking food and "being good" and I did start to see results, but I was not very serious and gave up quickly, because I hate it so.  The tracking, I mean, not the good results.

Last week, I remembered that I had had good results using Alternate Day Intermittent Fasting.  I kept it up for a while, but eventually abandoned it for a lot of reasons that you can read about here.

But after watching some videos and seeing things a little differently, I have decided to give it another shot, and do it more along the lines of way that Krista Varady promotes.  I ordered her book from the library, and I am going to pick it up after I finish writing this post.

Basically, I think the difference between what she recommends and what I was doing before is that, while I was eating only 300 calories per day spread out into three very small snacks on the days that I would fast, she says to eat 500 calories on a fasting day and eat them all at once, like a regular meal.

The way I did it before was that I would only get to eat a few bites of something on my fast days, and it never satisfied me.  Dr. Varady says that this is a difficult thing for most people to stick to, and they end up overeating on the fasting day.  One of the other problems was that, every other day, I would not get to eat dinner with my husband.  He was on his own, and that never went over well, especially when I had to watch him eat a nice meal while I ate a tiny snack.

This time around, I am going to fast all day until dinner time, then eat a normal meal with my husband, which will come out to around 500 calories.  I have been doing this for a few days now, and fasting until dinner time (or late lunch time, if he will not be home for dinner) has not been a real problem for me.  A little tummy rumbling, but nothing too upsetting.

On the days I do not fast, I will have a fat snack to get me going in the morning, then eat a normal lunch and dinner.  I suspect that the non-fasting days will come out to around 1500 calories.

I know, I know...  I have disparaged calories and calorie counting in the past, and I still feel the same way now about the Calories In/Calories Out method of weight loss.  Using the word "calories" is just an easy way to express how I am keeping my food consumption within a range that will promote normal blood sugar and normal body fat percentage, which are the two things I focus on.

I will continue to eat high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.  I believe that the way the body uses different food macronutrients differs greatly, and that not all calories are alike.

Many people who do this type of intermittent fasting believe that all calories are equal, and that your body cannot differentiate between the calories that come from fat and the calories that come from protein or carbs.  All things being equal, your body will react the same to 1,000 calories worth of Twizzlers as it does to 1,000 calories of bacon.  I wrote a post about that that you can read here.

I can guarantee you that your blood sugar will register the difference!  Plus, after you eat that bacon, you will be satiated for hours, but after eating the Twizzlers, you will be very hungry again very quickly (after you get over that sick feeling that comes with eating all the Twizzlers) and you will want more carbs.

Anyway, before I completely run away on the calories tangent, I will share that I did start eating this way again last week, but had a false start.  I did fine on the fasting day, but overate like crazy on the non-fasting day, and I gained weight.  So, I took a deep breath and started again a couple of days ago.  So far, so good.  I have lost a couple of pounds and my blood sugar has been in the high 70s to the low 80s.

I am now eating normally on the non-fasting days and not falling prey to the old way of thinking, which was, "I better overeat today, because tomorrow I have to fast most of the day!"

THE BEST PART...

I am hoping that this plan will keep me from having to micromanage every bite of food that goes into my mouth.  If this is true, not having to weigh, measure and calculate my food will truly be the best part!

I am now off to the library to get the book.  I'm sure I will learn something new and hopefully will be encouraged enough to keep going.  Many people who eat like this say that it is sustainable for life.  I sincerely hope so!




Sunday, October 27, 2013

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

Bill are is 69 years old and I am (almost) 58 years old. We eat high fat, including lots of heart-healthy saturated fat, sufficient protein and very low carb. We avoid eating artery-clogging whole grains and sugar.  Neither of us needs to take medication of any kind, we are normal weight, and disease free. We both had high blood sugar, but not any more. Medical professionals are amazed at us!
Today, we celebrate our 39th wedding anniversary.
 
 
 

Sunday, October 13, 2013

NUTRITIONAL KETOSIS - MONTH 15 RESULTS

On July 9, 2012, I started eating in such a way as to be fueled by Nutritional Ketosis.  If you are new here and do not know what that means, click here to read more about it in detail.  The short version is this:  I am eating very high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.

The large blank in my charts between November 2012 and May 2013 was from when I was not weighing and measuring, and you can see that I had significant gains during that time.

The darker lines are my actual numbers, taken each Sunday morning before eating and the lighter lines are the average of the prior eight weeks, so I can see the trend without all the "noise".


With the initial losses and the subsequent gains, since starting Nutritional Ketosis in July 2012, I have:

Lost 7.4 pounds on the scale
Lost 6.7 pounds of body fat
Lost 0.7 pounds of lean body mass

Lost 3/8" around my neck
Lost 1-1/2" around my bust
Lost 1-1/2" around my waist
Lost 1-5/8" around my belly
Lost 1-1/4" around my hips
Lost 1" around each of my thighs
Lost 1/4" around each of my calves

Lost 2.8 percentage points off my body fat
Gained 2.8 percentage points into my lean body mass

These charts show the average of the macro nutrient breakdown for the days that I tracked in this past month. (Click on any chart to enlarge it.)


 



I'm still doing a little bit of blood testing for ketones and glucose.  Here are those charts:




Here is my "body goal":

136 pounds scale weight
40.9 pounds body fat (30%)
95.1 pounds lean mass (70%)
11-3/4" neck
28-3/8" waist
38-1/2" hips

To get there, I need to lose 6.2 pounds of body fat, gain 2.2 pounds of lean mass, lose 2-3/8" around my waist and 1/2" around my hips.

LEAVING ALTERNATE DAY FASTING


I decided in the past few days to stop doing alternate day intermittent fasting.  Although I was losing body fat doing that, I just could not adjust to it emotionally.  On the days that I did not eat much, I was hungry, and on the days that I did eat, I was stressed thinking about the next day when I would not be able to eat much again.  So I am back to eating around the same amount each day of high fat, moderate protein and very low carb food.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

NUTRITIONAL KETOSIS - MONTH 14 RESULTS

On July 9, 2012, I started eating in such a way as to be fueled by Nutritional Ketosis.  If you are new here and do not know what that means, click here to read more about it in detail.  The short version is this:  I am eating very high fat, moderate protein and very low carb.

The large blank in my charts between November 2012 and May 2013 was from when I was not weighing and measuring, and you can see that I had significant gains during that time.

The darker lines are my actual numbers, taken each Sunday morning before eating and the lighter lines are the average of the prior eight weeks, so I can see the trend without all the bouncing around.



With the initial losses and the subsequent gains, since starting Nutritional Ketosis in July 2012, I have:

Lost 9.2 pounds on the scale
Lost 7.3 pounds of body fat
Lost 1.9 pounds of lean body mass

Lost 3/8" around my neck
Lost 1" around my bust
Lost 1-5/8" around my waist
Lost 1-1/2" around my belly
Lost 1-1/8" around my hips
Lost 7/8" around each of my thighs
Lost 3/8" around each of my calves

Lost 2.8 percentage points off my body fat
Gained 2.8 percentage points into my lean body mass

These charts show the average of the macro nutrient breakdown for the days that I tracked in this past month. (Click on any chart to enlarge it.)

 


I'm still doing a little bit of blood testing for ketones and glucose.  Here are those charts:



Here is my "body goal":

136 pounds scale weight
40.9 pounds body fat (30%)
95.1 pounds lean mass (70%)
11-3/4" neck
28-3/8" waist
38-1/2" hips

To get there, I need to lose 5.6 pounds of body fat, gain 3.4 pounds of lean mass, lose 2-1/4" around my waist and 5/8" around my hips.

Starting on August 11, 2013, I started Doing Alternate Day Intermittent Fasting.  To read more about that, click here.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

STRAWBERRY COCONUT MILK ICE CREAM

I have used this recipe for Strawberry Ice Cream that is made with coconut milk and it is great!

It's an easy and yummy dessert to make when my little lactose-intolerant grandson and my big lactose-intolerant son come to visit.

I've made ice cream with whole cream before, but this recipe has more of the mouth-feel of regular ice cream, so I like it better.

Check out Living Low Carb One Day at a Time for more wonderful recipes.